I am not the agent of action

Even though I know that I am not the body, mind, and senses, I still think that I am the agent of the action that is done by the body, because of identification. To clarify this wrong idea, yamaraja says that ātmā is not the agent of any action in the next mantra.

hantā cenmanyate hantum hataścenmanyate hatam |

ubhau tau na vijānīto nāyam hanti na hanyate ||1.2.19||

If a killer thinks (that the ātmā) kills and if the one who is being killed thinks (that

the ātmā is) killed, both of them do not know. This ātmā does not kill (and) is not

killed.

Change/modification is inevitable for any action, so is the agent of the action. Ātmā is changeless; therefore, it is free from action which involves doer-ship and experiencer-ship. Thus, ātmā is never a participant in any transaction, either as a subject or an object.

Because of the identification with this body, I-ātmā becomes as though the agent of any activities done by this body. hantā manyate hantum - the killer thinks the self kills, indicates doer-ship; hataḥ manyate hatam - the one who is killed thinks the self is killed, indicates experiencer-ship. Because of taking up the doer-ship and experiencer-ship, I can’t avoid the karma cyclic, and also guilt and hurt are there for me. Guilt is haunting me when I think I am the doer of the action of hurting, and hurt is torturing me when I see myself as the victim.

If I am not the doer and the experiencer, who is? It is the ahankara, which is the result of identification of ātmā with this body, mind, and senses. All results of karma belong to the ahankara, who identifies with the doer and experiencer of this body. And in-exhausted karma is carried to another body in another birth, while the identification is there with the new body. Whenever identification is there, karma and the result of karma will be there. Therefore, one who doesn’t know the fact that nāyam hanti na hanyate - ātmā does not kill and is not killed, the self is not the agent of karma, then the cycle of birth and death will continue for him.

On the other hand, the knower of ātmā transcends pain and guilt by transcending doership and enjoyership. What kind of ātmā does he know?

aṇoraṇīyānmahato mahīyān ātmā’sya jantornihito guhāyām |

tamakratuḥ paśyati vītaśoko dhātuprasādānmahimānamātmanaḥ ||1.2.20||

Ātmā is smaller than the smallest (and) bigger than the biggest. It is located in the

heart of a living being. One who outgrows desires sees that glory of the self through the

serenity of the organs (and becomes) free from grief.

Ātmā is neither the body nor the agent of action which is done by the body. It is the very existence that is inherent in every sentient and insentient being. That existence is aṇoraṇīyānmahato mahīyān - smaller than the smallest (and) bigger than the biggest. Ātmā is the very existence that appears as the smallest atom (microcosm) and also appears as the biggest object (macrocosm). By itself, ātmā is neither small nor big.

When I identify myself with this body as an individual, I feel limited by others. I want to be free, but no matter how I struggle, I still find myself being limited, because there are always greater forces or entities that limiting me. Therefore, to be totally free from limitation, I need to know the fact that those greater entities are nothing but appearances of the same limitless brahman who also appears as the insignificant fellow I thought I was. Great and insignificant are only upādhi, their reality is one limitless brahman. Just like a wave which feels small compared to the big ocean. It requires to know that the ocean is nothing but water, and so too the wave itself. Being only water, there is no difference between the ocean and the wave.

That existence ātmā which appears as the total big universe and the small individual, is nothing but myself, who is ātmā’sya jantornihito guhāyām - located in the mind of a living being, where there is a recognition of “I am”. dhātuprasādān - because of the serenity of the mind of akratuḥ - a person who is dispassionate, outgrown the desire towards the appearance of sense objects, tam ātmanaḥ mahimānam paśyati - he sees the glories (limitless nature) of that ātmā being himself. This person became vītaśokaḥ - free from sorrow.